Don't want a wedding, a dress, or a ring...anyone else like me?

Love my man, but this would be my 2nd marriage...and I already know from experience that ceremonies, pictures, and flowers have nothing to do with a happy marriage....am I alone with wanting nothing to do with the traditional wedding racket?? If I could take a half day off work and go sign papers at the court house, I'd be happy (I even found a plain band online for $47, perfect). I don't want a diamond, or a honeymoon....that money's much better spent elsewhere, even though money's not an issue in this case.



I hope my man's okay with this. I don't want to hurt his feelings (he's never been married).



Am I alone in feeling this way? Anyone else do anything similar? Guys, would you be okay not buying your lady a diamond or taking her on a honeymoon, even if you both could easily afford it?

Don't want a wedding, a dress, or a ring...anyone else like me?
A wedding is whatever you want it to be. If you just want it to be about the two of you quietly and subtly promising yourselves to each other, that's ok. In the end, it's about the marriage, not the wedding. Just make sure your fiance wants the same thing. If not, maybe you can compromise with just a very small wedding.
Reply:Ooh, there's a term for you...anti-bride! I just read an article about it this morning and will send you the link. I think you are just a very nice, practical woman who is more interested in the marriage than the wedding. I'm a lot like you- if it weren't for my fiance's big family, I'd be all set to just jet to Vegas and get it done at the Little Chapel of Elvis, LOL. Even so, we're keeping it nice and low-key, even though it's not a money thing for us either- just a matter of preference. Good luck!
Reply:That's a pretty selfish view. He's never been through this before, what about his special day where he gets to show off the lady that's rocked his world? You don't have to spend a ton of money, but why not make him feel special in front of friends %26amp; family on this day that is all about the two of you?? If you're not taking your partner's feelings and experiences (or lack of in this case) into consideration, oops!
Reply:I see where you are coming from with this being your second marriage. Your guy might want the big wedding though, since he hasn't been married before. I would ask him what he wants and try to compromise. Maybe have a big reception for your friends and family at a later date
Reply:I'm with you, why throw a huge party and start your marriage in debt? 80% of divorces are over money prollems. just make sure your groom isn't into all that traditional wedding crap, like the garter toss, cake, church ceremony, etc. and if he can live without then you're good.
Reply:There's nothing wrong with this - totally fine for a second wedding. It has nothing to do with money.
Reply:I never really wanted any of that traditional wedding brew-haha... I'm married for the third time, and I've never even had a traditional wedding dress. My wedding ring is a plain gold band similar to what my parents wear (in my country, people don't use diamonds in their wedding rings). It really is a personal choice. What your man is ok with is something to discuss with him; my husband was happy as could be not having to have a formal ceremony or wear a tux. We did go on a "honeymoon" cruise, but schedule-wise it actually fell on a month before our wedding; so, honestly, "honeymoon" was just an excuse to go on a nice vacation. Our wedding cost us under $500, and it was a fun and informal celebration. Talk to your fiancé and find out what his views are on the subject; only he can tell you whether or not he would be "okay" with it. I'm surprised you don't already know what his preferences would be.
Reply:We went to the Clerk of Courts, had a small ($30) Ceremony with his parents, took pictures in a nearby park, and then he went off to work, and was perfectly happy. (I don't think all that took more than 3 hours.)

I on the other hand, was fine with it at first, now I'm yearning for a real wedding.

He wants to keep me happy, and offered to give me a full blown wedding, in two years, but I don't want that either.

We settled for a Cruise Renewal of Vows, Spending $3,000 on everything, Including helping our 7 guests with their cruise tickets.

I couldn't be happier, cause I never wanted the huge thing with people that I don't even know very well. I still get a dress (not a huge Cinderella-gown, but lovely, either way) and we are spending that money on a 7 day celebration, instead of one.

My hubby likes the idea too, cause he's always wanted to go on a cruise.
Reply:I actually just read an article about this. The "Anti-Bride" I think, even though I was somewhat excited about dress shopping, that I am a bit of an anti-bride myself. Everyone else is thinking about the wedding reception, favours, cake, etc. and the "special day", and I just want to be married. I'm looking forward to the wedding, but not spending all the money for tradition's sake. I'm looking forward to exchanging vows and being man and wife!



Here's the article:

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/c...



Good Luck - have a happy marriage!
Reply:My parents married in a civil ceremony, my dad taking a half day off work. They were married for 38 years, until his death.



We're nearing that number, after spending less than $500 on the whole shebang, $300 of it for my husband's suit, which he wore for the next ten years. No diamond here, and neither of us wears our wedding bands. We need no reminders or announcements to others, you know?



If I were in your shoes now, I might take a pass on the diamond, get the cheap band if I liked it enough to wear daily, go with a small civil ceremony and a tiny reception (maybe desserts only?), and take a three-day weekend at a destination we could drive to for our honeymoon.



The money you *didn't* spend could be enough to start a new life together from a better, more solid start, whether that means new furniture, the down payment on a house, or simply less debt.



Oh, and congratulations!

shared web hosting