Too young?

Okay I have a BIG problem! I REALLY NEED ADVICE!!


Please help!





There's this guy that I met online through Myspace 3 months ago. We immediately hit it off and within a week of talking online, we talked on the phone EVERY SINGLE night afterwards. I started talking to him online in late October. We both thought each other was attractive %26amp; over these past 3 months we have had this huge emotional bond form %26amp; one day he accidentally said he loved me %26amp; told me to call him crazy but he wasn't going to deny his feelings. (I too said it back a few weeks afterwards because I thought I really did %26amp; he was such an amazing guy)


So things have progressed within those 3 months and we both make the decision that we want to be with each other. He told me he's never felt this way with any other girl he's ever been with %26amp; that he thinks we have something extremely special. So...here's where it gets really hard...This past Saturday (Jan 26th) we met for the first time. We both had the mindset that we would meet, everything would be perfect %26amp; it would be the start of a longterm relationship.


He comes to my door with a huge smile on his face %26amp; gives me flowers. I gave him a hug %26amp; said thank you. We were just making small talk %26amp; he didn't seem very uncomfortable. So, We went out to Chili's %26amp; to see Cloverfield. As the night went on, I could tell that he was just very uncomfortable. He didn't touch me at all, he was pretty quiet, he avoided eye contact. So I'm thinking what the hell? I thought we were going to hit it off perfectly. We came home, I gave him a hug when he left %26amp; said thanks %26amp; bye. Sunday rolls around %26amp; I can tell he's acting funny when I talk to him on the phone. He's really quiet, really distant %26amp; when I asked when he was gonna see me again, he agreed to any date I was planning for this week, but he wasn't making the plans %26amp; didn't sound too excited . At that moment, my gut starts kicking in and it's telling me something is seriously wrong. Monday afternoon I'm talking to him on the phone %26amp; I just wanted some answers so I pressured him to tell me what was wrong. After an hour he finally tell me. Are you ready for this one!?


...He tells me that he thinks I look very young for my age (20) %26amp; he doesn't feel comfortable at all. He can't get himself to be sexually attracted to me. He's physically attracted to me as in he thinks I'm pretty, but he said because of how young I look (he thinks I look 15-17) that he can't find himself wanting sexual desires. He's 27, so he thinks since I look 10+ years younger that he is just doing something extremely wrong %26amp; he doesn't know if he can get used to that. I go over his house Monday night to try to work this out %26amp; the whole time I'm over there he was just extremely uncomfortable to have me there. He's fidgeting, not making eye contact, doesn't want to touch me, standing while I'm sitting. So I started crying my eyes out because I really thought he was going to be the one who would work out for me %26amp; I'm being judged because I look young. I cry for like 5 minutes %26amp; then he starts crying too because he said he doesn't know what's going on in his head %26amp; he thinks he's crazy. He starts hugging me, but I could tell it was weirding him out. He tells me really wants to be with me because he loves me, but he wants to find me sexually attractive too. I told him I'd stand with him if he could try to get over his problem. He tells me he doesn't want me to because he refuses to drag me down with him %26amp; break my heart any more than he already has. He calls me yesterday %26amp; avoids that subject. Now, I don't want to get strung along so I just bluntly asked what's going on with us? Again we talk about the same thing we did Monday night %26amp; he is very confused on what to do. He tells me he needs some time to figure himself out %26amp; if he feels deserving of me, he'll call me. Which I can totally give him %26amp; understand. But what do I do in the meantime? I don't want to keep my hopes up %26amp; get hurt again, but I don't want to give up on him either. So, I'm heartbroken %26amp; confused. So women...what would you do? and men, have you ever had this problem, do you think he's telling me the truth %26amp; for God's sake, tell me what he's thinking please!!!


Thanks to all who answer.

Too young?
He's thinking he doesn't really like you. The whole too young thing is an excuse. Simple as that!





Let it go!





Stop getting all worked up over people you meet online.


NEVER, EVER, give some guy you meet online your address.
Reply:let him go hes playing with you. to me hes just a nut
Reply:i mean no offence but have a feeling that he's a gay or a pedophile.


anyway give him some time to figure it out,as he required. and get yourself calm down.


he is not worth being trusted if what he seeks is sex instead of love.i have a feeling he was looking for someone who could satisfy his sexual desire rather than who he would love.
Reply:i can understand a little bit how you could look young... at least you know he's not a creep... but if you REALLY TRULY love him... you should be willing to wait forever... and remind him that you AREN'T 15 but don't try to force him into making a decsion...





or you could say that you can just be friends for a while... if things are meant to work out... they will...








good luck ;-)
Reply:7 years is a relatively big age difference, but if you are both in the same place (life-wise as in looking for the same things from a relationship) then it can work.


I think he might be worried about what other people (his friends/parents/colleagues) might think, especially as you two met online, which people often percieve as being creepy, even when it isn't.


I also think if you look young for your age, that will compound the issue, while you often hear of guys dating women half their age, it is usually 40-50 years old (when they hit midlife crisis!), not 20-somethings.


I think ultimately you have to let him work through this. You can't change who you are, or how you look. Maybe if he really isn't good with it, you can suggest going back to being buddies, and agreeing to see where you both are (in your lives/careers/relationships with other people) and maybe try again if you both happen to be single at the same time.


Who knows, he may think through it and realise that the age you look is nowhere near as important as the way you click.
Reply:Consider the possibility that this guy might be gay but hasn't dealt with it.
Reply:wow, maybe he got in trouble for being a pedafile before that it bothers him so much? seriously though, i can understand where he is coming from. there has to be some sexual attraction for a relationship to completely work. at 27, if he is looking for young women in general that should be a warning flag. i say leave him alone, he seems to have emotional issues going on.
Reply:thats wrong it doesnt matter what age u are only things matter how sexy u are... like u
Reply:I can't read all of that, but it sounds like this guy gets shy when it comes face to face. Some people are just like that, fun online and over the phone, but when it gets down to it they are scared.
Reply:The dude saw your picture BEFORE you two meet. He didn't find anything that bothered him until he met you? (assuming you looked the same in the picture and in life)





He's a freak. Move on.
Reply:he sounds like a nut job for get and move on!!!!!!!!!!
Reply:honey, he told you a 1/2 truth, you hooked up with a pedophile and you're too old for him.





Run, run, run from this creep.








BTW: if you are going to continue to meet people online in real life, then NEVER, NEVER give them your address until you've had a couple of face to face meetings. Meet them in a public place for your first few meetings and get to know them in person.
Reply:Spend some time with other friends while he's making up his mind. Go have some girls' nights out, but don't go on and on about this guy. Go have fun.


As for the guy, I think this is an occasion where he might be telling the truth. Making out with a woman who looks 16 to him would probably weird out any guy. He's probably afraid that if he lets himself be sexually attracted to you, he'll be sexually attracted to adolescent girls.


Give him time, and don't think it's something wrong with you. It's just his perception. He might miss you in a while and change his mind. And if he never calls, move on.
Reply:WOW...thats shallow most guys would like a girl that looks younger. Maybe try and dress real sexy add the makeup. But if it was me i would write him off and move on. I know its easy for me to say and I understand that its harder for you. I hope it all works out for you. U can email me or IM if you wanna talk more i will be around all day
Reply:Wow, you wrote a lot. I wouldn't get involved with anyone on Myspace. But maybe thats me.
Reply:the man has mental problems , and your going to end up in real trouble if you keep hanging around that weirdo besides all the things you said, do you think a normal guy would turn down the chance of screwing a hot 20 year old?? you see the thing is he is not being nice his being strange


and the fact he cry's in front of you means he is


a.gay


b.mentally ill


c.a complete pussy


d.trying to manipulate you


e. maybe all of the above


stay away from internet freaks and find a nice STABLE person that knows a good thing when he see it (you)


he could also (and this is highly likely) be manipulating your feels and getting you to come chase him


so he can then have you run around after him and worship the ground he walks on , sounds silly? works all the time!


the next man that turns down a go one you, bunch him smack in the face!


if a man turns down sex there is something going on EVERYTIME no matter what other say on here its not normal
Reply:He feels confused, he feels that he'd be taking advatage of you if he made a move on you because your 7 years younger. Most men fantasise about young looking women, but often feel bad about it if it actually happens (like lector from american beauty) but your not a schoolgirl, your 20, it's not wrong at all, show off your sexy side, maybe you were too shy with him at first, perhaps you could show him he's being silly by making a first move, kiss?





If he doesnt respond to that, then he needs his head examined!

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