He's stationed in Iraq, I want to end it....do it now or wait til he gets home?

This guy and I met online in November. We have been talking ever since. Hung out a lot and slept together on his two week leave. We agreed that I would date other people until he got back in June. But he sent me a dozen flowers, a teddy bear, and chocolate for Valentines day. He always calls me baby, honey, etc. Says he can't wait to come home to me. He's a nice guy but I don't feel a romantic connection. When he mentions having sex when he gets home I dread it instead of getting excited. He says that he really likes knowing there's a girl at home for him.



Do I keep talking this way with him until he gets home (which I think is akin to leading him on) or should I tell him how I feel now and see if we can just be friends? Should I just wait because it makes him feel good to have a sweetheart back home?

He's stationed in Iraq, I want to end it....do it now or wait til he gets home?
That is a VERY tough situation to be in. You are 2 are not in a committed relationship with each other right? I'm kind of torn as to what to say. The motovation of "I have a girl at home" might be helping him make it through being over there.



He does need to know that you don't feel the same feelings for him that he has for you. Try to do it in the nicest way possible though. The next time you talk to him casually mention that you enjoy being his friend and that you can't wait for him to come home safely.



I hope this helps.
Reply:By not telling him the truth you are leading him on. As painful as it will be for him you have to be honest. The longer you let him think you will be with him when he gets home the more betrayed he will feel when he gets home. You don't want him to feel like an idiot for believing a lie. Let him go. Just try to be gentle about it and tell him you're sorry.
Reply:Well, you've led him on THIS long, might as well keep itt up--it could save his life.



But I think what you did was really sh-itty--I hope you at least have the decency to feel guilty about playing games with his heart!
Reply:this is sad. I know that you want to do the right thing, but lying to him won't make it right. If you honestly don't feel romantic towards him, let him know that now. Let him know that you appreciate what he has done for you and for his country and that you will be there as a friend. Good Luck.
Reply:just wait
Reply:well remember how tough it is for him being in Iraq and in the desert being shot at surrounded by guys all day his wait to see you is one of his ways of getting thought the day cause he looks forward to hear your voice i would try it for couple more times and if it doesn't work then talk to him DONT LEAD HIM ON and i can guess it just as hard on you to so i wont take sides on this or judge
Reply:You dont feel a romantic connection.. hes sending you flowers, a teddy bear, chocolate, and hes saying I love you. A lot of women would kill for a guy like that. Thats kind of messed up
Reply:If you wait, you might have to wait awhile because this war is never going to end.



If you don't wait, you risk breaking the heart of a soldier who is putting his life on the line every single day.



I don't know what you should do.



I'm just glad i don't have to make the decision.
Reply:I think you should wait b/c he has so much going on right now. It will only make more depressed.
Reply:thats tough

id wait
Reply:I would also tell him the truth. You will just make it worse if you lead him on... then he comes home and will be double as disappointed if you are not there... and then he'll probably be more likely to get in trouble than out there.



Tell him you are not interested in him romantically... but offer him friendship... let him down softly. :) Good luck!

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